Thee Flanders "Graverobbing 2"

(Halb 7 Records 2015)

Intro (Featuring Tom Toxic)

Enjoy The Silence

You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) (Featuring Bela B)

Dein Vampyr (Featuring Brigitte Handley)

Red Light Spells Danger

Pet Sematary (Featuring Teddy Taste)

Ich Brauch Keinen Grund

Comeback And Stay

She Bop (Featuring Ramon Sitoci)

Don't You Want Me (Featuring Pattsy)

Dirty Lies

Junk

Deja Vu

Outro (Featuring Achim Mentzel)

It's been 8 years since Thee Flanders unleashed their first instalment of against-the-grain psychobilly covers under the guise of their 2007 Graverobbing album on Halb 7 Records. That album was good. This one is great. In the 8 years between that album and this one, it's immediately obvious that the boys have really honed their skills for arranging, or in this case rearranging songs and in the words of Louis Walsh..."making them their own". (I will NEVER reference Louis Walsh in a review EVER again. I apologise profusely). It could have been all too easy for the band to go in to the studio and just do psycho renditions of songs known to the mainstream by speeding them up and applying some sore throat vocals. Naturally the Flanderesque versions are going to have a lot more balls and attitude than the originals...this is a psychobilly band after all...but it's balls and attitude with a gamut of great ideas and recording techniques. All the songs have been completely re-imagined by the band with stellar results. (Speaking of stellar, there's a stellar line up of guests on this album too as you can see from the song titles above). The album was recorded by Teddy Taste and mixed by Ramon Sitoci and fuck me pink the sounds they got from Thee Flanders are nothing short of astounding. For example the sound of the snare on some of the songs is really catchy. It's not too often you'll hear of a snare drum being catchy but such is the production quirks to be heard all over of this album. You'll just have to buy it and listen to it to know what I'm talking about. That's another atypical trait of this album. If you actually listen you pick up on all sorts of different things going on in the songs with each additional play. Thanks Thee Flanders for the early Christmas present. To sum up, I fuckin' love this album because...it's great...and I'm great...and I'm always right! And that's all that counts!!
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The Retarded Rats "Underground Is Dead"

(Killjoy Records 2015)

Underground Is Dead (Extended Radio Chart Version)

 One - ? - Three

 Underground Is Dead (Real Life Version)

Blurring the lines between psychobilly and garage punk. That's the sonic delights to be gorged on on this limited edition 7" EP from Germany's Retarded Rats. Fronted by slap bassist and vocalist par excellence, Anna Killjoy, and bringing up the rear is Flatty Killjoy on guitar and Mutant Ann on the skins. More often than not, female-fronted psycho outfits are way off the mark. Annoying vocal styling and music that falls in to the "punk with a double bass" variety. The Retarded Rats however are bang on the money. What a breath of fresh air to hear a girl-laden psychobilly band that isn't relying on gimmickry to gain popularity but instead rely on the sound. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Yeah, a cool image is one thing but isn't worth a shite if the music falls short. The Retarded Rats tick both boxes. They look good AND they sound good. If you took all the singles that were released on the Big Beat label back in the 80s...both psycho and garage punk...melted em down and re-pressed em as one great big 7" slab of black sexiness then this is what you'd get. 

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The Minestompers "The Minestompers"

(Crazy Love Records 2015)

Minestomp

Mama's Clit

Invasion

Toxic Avenger

Drive By Cumshot

Possessed To Skate

Surfride To Hell

Bukkake Blues

Demon Twist

Leprechaun Boogie

Place To Go

Bad Dreams

Stomp Around The Swamp

Tohuwabohu

The older I get I'm not as easily impressed as I was as a nubile teenager. This can go for just about anything. Girls, films, food, life..music. This is especially true in my chosen genre. Good old psychobilly where a lot of bands just sound the same...or like someone else. 90% of the time there's no trademark sound which becomes instantly identifiable in a way that separates them from their stable mates. For example, you'd know straight away if it was Demented Are Go, The Quakes, Nekromantix, Torment etc you were listening to even if you didn't have access to the album sleeve. Enter Köln's Minestompers and their inaugural airing on Crazy Love Records. Psychobilly naysayers of the "no slap bass, no billy" variety are in for a reality check. This 100% psychobilly with *gasp* bass guitar! I love slap bass, but it's not the be-all and end-all if the band are fucking good. The Minestompers are fucking great! The trademark sound is coming in spades from vocalist Dave. The guy sounds like a demented Charlie Feathers hiccuping all over the place. There's a great strep throat tone to it too. Those two elements in the vocals are my favourite elements and are all too rare. There are only a handful of vocalists who can pull it off and Dave is right up there at the top. I've had this album for a while now and it gets blasted out regularly. Sometimes you make a mental note of standout albums. You know the way they just get ingrained in your psyche? This is one of those gems. An excellent début release which is all anti-wholesome psychobilly of the towering over their opposition variety.

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The Goddamn Gallows "7 Devils"

(Crazy Love Records 2015)

Ragz And Bones

7 Devils

47 Crosses

The End Of The World

Rotting Away

Stew Hogg

Sidewalk Slammer

Y'All Motherfuckers Need Jesus

Instant Major Felony

Malefactor March

Nature Of The Beast

Serafino

Waiting Around To Die

Nowhere Left To Roam

Broken Man

Raise The Moon

It All Goes Away

This a reissue of the US 2011 release on Farmageddon Records  now out in all its splendour on Germany's Crazy Love Records. There's a carnival feel running throughout the album; albeit an evil carnival. Think Ray Bradbury's novel Something Wicked This Way Comes and you'll get the idea. However, when they're not being the creepy gutterbilly bastards that we all know and love, this album features one of my favourite Gallows ditties "Nature Of The Beast". This is a straight-up folk ballad with some fine yodelling. For the most part though, this a big blend of hillbilly, cowpunk, bluegrass, folk, rockabilly, with that underworld vocal styling that makes for some very uncomfortable listening...but that's a good thing. This isn't your "nice" version of American roots music. The lads are the personification of every reason you wouldn't want to go in to the swamps alone in Louisiana. But fuck me, can they play their respective instruments or what? All the ingredients for a pissed-up stomp are adroitly executed. The boys are the real deal and no mistake.

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The Rocket Beats "Human Tornado"

(Crazy Love Records 2015)

Rocket Alert Theme

Mystery Man

Evil In My Veins

Human Tornado

Dinosaur Rock

Electrical

Brown Fury

Madhouse

Let's Shout Again

Be-Bop-A-Lula (Rocket Version)

Grave Party

My nipples were plain to be seen poking out through my shirt whilst listening to this album, the second outing from Russia's Rocket Beats. Russia has produced some top class bands over the years and The Rocket Beats maintain that high standard. Evil, sci-fi themed psychobilly sounds are order of the day here. But what sets them apart from the usual psychobilly brigade is the inclusion of quality female backing vocals (and lead vocals on one track). Speaking of which, she's an excellent slap bassist too! They're reminiscent of that wave of bands that came from Europe in the mid 1980s. Bands like Les Crabs, The Scallywags, The Scannerz...that kinda thing. The kinda thing I absolutely love. Fuck knows how such an underground scene can still produce bands like this, putting their own stamp on things with that classic, minimalist ensemble of guitar, drums and slap bass. It's testament to the talent that exists within the realms of psychobilly's self-contained world I suppose. It will never be for mass consumption. Within music's broad spectrum of genres and styles, psychobilly has to be thee most ignored one of all. Or the most misunderstood. Yet, it has survived on its own merits while being blacklisted by the "music press". But what appears to be the music industry's pet hate, is our subcultural secret which sticks two fingers up at them triumphantly. So yes, another quality release from Crazy Love Records (Guido really has an ear for quality) with this, the sophomore album from The Rocket Beats. Equal parts psycho and billy with a splash of the aforementioned sci-fi for good measure. Now to put a warm spoon on my nipples. It's getting embarrassing.  

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The Quaranteds "World Wide Quarantine"

(Crazy Love Records 2015)

Johnny's A Commie

Hate

Exotic Girls

Ride This Torpedo

King Of The Night

Wench

White Wedding

Holy Jaysus this 7 dittied silver platter gave me a right kick in the bollix and no mistake! Right from the get-go the clean guitar and machine gun slap bass grabbed me by the scrote and refused to let go. I had no pre-conceived notions before listening to this, the second outing from LA's The Quaranteds. They've been around a while and my ex-girlfriend was always singing their praises (she knows em personally....see? I have worldwide connections...what a cosmopolitan guy) but all she ever showed me was dodgy quality videos she recorded on her phone so I never really bothered me arse checking them out further. WHAT A GOBSHITE! The boys are brilliant! 5 originals and 2 covers (Ride This Torpedo features guest vocals from that dapper bastard Gator McMurder of Bea Pickles/Coffin Draggers fame) and it's all in-your-face psychobilly of the tough guy variety. In its essence, psychobilly is a more ballsy, aggressive, punch in the throat version of rockabilly and this is exactly what the lads have captured here. I fucking love it! It reminds me of when I was 15 and heard The Guana Batz for the first time (having grown tired of the sugar coated rockabilly dross that was doing the rounds at the time) and thinking to myself "fuck sake, THIS is what I've been looking for". It's psychobilly like it used to be in its heyday over this side of the pond. Now it appears that heyday has moved Stateside. The boys do it right. Straight-up psychobilly with no pretentiousness. 

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The Spastiks "Demo EP"

 (The Spastiks 2015)

Radiation Baby

Rubber Legs

Big Black Bug

Dynamite

My mate Tim (guitarist from New York's The Spastiks) sent me their demo CD (along with a pair of  XXXXL women's knickers) in the post. For a demo CD it actually sounds more like a finished product. (The knickers were soiled). The boys are obviously serious about their art. Lyrically though "serious" doesn't come in to the equation. Stylistically it's very old school psychobilly with plenty of rockabilly twang and comic book stories told through the medium of song. It's like a Guana Batz/Krewmen mash-up with maybe a hint of The Cramps. The whole thing is driven along with a solid slap bass and drums backbeat and features a vocalist that doesn't rely on growling bullshittery to transform his voice from rockabilly to psychobilly. It's a sexy little teaser of what the lads have in store for us. All we have to do now is wait for Tim to stop perusing the ladies undergarmentry section of his local charity shop and round up the rest of the lads (found modelling the aforementioned ladies undergarmentry...in the same charity shop) and record an album. Shower of sex-cases.
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