The Spastiks "Sewer Surfing"

(Crazy Love Records 2016)

Sewer Surfin'

My Baby Was Abducted By Aliens

Radiation Baby

Retard

Wolfman Crawl

Hatchet

Mickey Mouse

Dynamite

Another Dead Hooker

Brown Eye Girl

Well they finally did it. They've reached their ultimate goal. They've climbed to the highest rung of the ladder in the tights of psychobilly. That's right readers....grab those horns and sound the fanfare! The Spastiks are, at last, getting a full album review by me! .............Hello? Is this thing on? Tough crowd. Well feck off then.
FINE! They've finally released their début platter (which, incidentally comes on black AND limited edition yellow vinyl...110 pieces...hand numbered...AND CD!) on everyone's favourite label, Crazy Love Records, owned by everyone's favourite German, Gorgeous Guido Neumann. Look at him there girls, isn't he only gorgeous? So, 10 ditties of reverb drenched psychobilly with oodles of twang and lyrics that the boys over at Troma Entertainment would be proud/jealous of. The shlockabilly lyrics are made more threatening by the minacious rhythms of the guitar and ballsy bass slapping. You can hear quite clearly that the boys are very much influenced by the first wave of psychobilly. It's pure...oh, I better not say that....it's authentic psychobilly! The boys have been arsing about in loads of bands over the years but they all seemed to just fizzle out. Not so this time around. The Spastiks continue to go from strength to strength and are gaining a worldwide audience. European as well as their native US festival promoters have began to sit up and take notice of this trio. This fine release should see them gain even more well deserved acclaim. Sexily packaged too I might add with some fine artwork by the legendary Oscar Hertin (not quite as legendary as me mind). If straight-up no frills psychobilly with lashings of rockabilly rhythm is your bag (it's mine) then make that purchase! Upon arrival of your purchase, gently tease your finger in to the hole (if CD) or carefully hold the rim (if LP) and place your purchase on the relevant aural pleasure device....and don't forget that kitchen roll lads (I recommend Plenty) as you'll get so excited that pant-splash may occur.

The O'Prez

The Spastiks on Facebook
Buy the Yellow Vinyl
No...I want the Black Vinyl
No wait....the CD...I want the CD
(you can of course buy all 3)
Hellacious Harmonies on Facebook

The Spastiks "Cannibal Clan"

(Crazy Love Records 2016)

Cannibal Clan (From Bambooland)

Wolfman Crawl

Upskirt Blues

Dynamite

Leaping testicles of steel! Guido Neumann's big package gave me much pleasure this morning; for inside there were not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4....ok there were 4...4 7 inch discs of delight. My ocular deficiency in the colour department was put to the challenge, but I'm reliably informed that this 45 of frolics comes in black (I knew that one) and in very limited numbers of green, yellow and magenta. Now then, what does it sound like? Who cares?? Check out that erect-nipple-inducing artwork! Fuck me pink who ever did this is the king of art. Everything from the front cover, the rear, the labels...this monarch of mastur...I mean mastery should be seated on a throne immediately. Oh, hang on, it was me. I did it. Me. Johnny O'Prez.... www.the-oprez.com and ww.facebook.com/TheArtOfTheOPrez

Johnny O'Prez. The King Of Art

But that's enough subtle hints about the artist (me...I did the art)...onwards to the sounds. Myself and guitarist Tim Gagné are bffs and he's been pleasuring me for years with his various musical output.  I've always been an admirer of his guitar style which has a lot of rockabilly twang. Therefore I was gagging to get me claws on this release from his band The Spastiks. The trio of Nu Yoik ne're-do-wells have been tirelessly honing their craft for ages now and it's evident upon listening to this EP that that work has paid off. It's real underground psychobilly the way it's meant to sound. Lashings of psycho perfectly infused with that rockabilly twang I mentioned earlier. Couple that with B movie lyrics and a twist of the perverse and that sums up The Spastiks. Sonically, the mixing is pristine. The slap bass and drums compliment each other perfectly and the guitar almost adds an air of menace. It transports me back to a time when I was hanging around street corners in me 14-hole Dr Martens. I love this release. If this doesn't see The Spastiks rise through the ranks of the psychobilly scene then the denizens must all be tone deaf. 

The O'Prez

THE SPASTIKS ON FACEBOOK

BUY THE RECORD(S) (I've linked to the black...grab the coloured ones quick)
HELLACIOUS HARMONIES ON FACEBOOK

The Spastiks "Demo EP"

 (The Spastiks 2015)

Radiation Baby

Rubber Legs

Big Black Bug

Dynamite

My mate Tim (guitarist from New York's The Spastiks) sent me their demo CD (along with a pair of  XXXXL women's knickers) in the post. For a demo CD it actually sounds more like a finished product. (The knickers were soiled). The boys are obviously serious about their art. Lyrically though "serious" doesn't come in to the equation. Stylistically it's very old school psychobilly with plenty of rockabilly twang and comic book stories told through the medium of song. It's like a Guana Batz/Krewmen mash-up with maybe a hint of The Cramps. The whole thing is driven along with a solid slap bass and drums backbeat and features a vocalist that doesn't rely on growling bullshittery to transform his voice from rockabilly to psychobilly. It's a sexy little teaser of what the lads have in store for us. All we have to do now is wait for Tim to stop perusing the ladies undergarmentry section of his local charity shop and round up the rest of the lads (found modelling the aforementioned ladies undergarmentry...in the same charity shop) and record an album. Shower of sex-cases.
The O'Prez

THE SPASTIKS ON FACEBOOK
HELLACIOUS HARMONIES ON FACEBOOK