The Retarded Rats "Underground Is Dead"

(Killjoy Records 2015)

Underground Is Dead (Extended Radio Chart Version)

 One - ? - Three

 Underground Is Dead (Real Life Version)

Blurring the lines between psychobilly and garage punk. That's the sonic delights to be gorged on on this limited edition 7" EP from Germany's Retarded Rats. Fronted by slap bassist and vocalist par excellence, Anna Killjoy, and bringing up the rear is Flatty Killjoy on guitar and Mutant Ann on the skins. More often than not, female-fronted psycho outfits are way off the mark. Annoying vocal styling and music that falls in to the "punk with a double bass" variety. The Retarded Rats however are bang on the money. What a breath of fresh air to hear a girl-laden psychobilly band that isn't relying on gimmickry to gain popularity but instead rely on the sound. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Yeah, a cool image is one thing but isn't worth a shite if the music falls short. The Retarded Rats tick both boxes. They look good AND they sound good. If you took all the singles that were released on the Big Beat label back in the 80s...both psycho and garage punk...melted em down and re-pressed em as one great big 7" slab of black sexiness then this is what you'd get. 

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The Minestompers "The Minestompers"

(Crazy Love Records 2015)

Minestomp

Mama's Clit

Invasion

Toxic Avenger

Drive By Cumshot

Possessed To Skate

Surfride To Hell

Bukkake Blues

Demon Twist

Leprechaun Boogie

Place To Go

Bad Dreams

Stomp Around The Swamp

Tohuwabohu

The older I get I'm not as easily impressed as I was as a nubile teenager. This can go for just about anything. Girls, films, food, life..music. This is especially true in my chosen genre. Good old psychobilly where a lot of bands just sound the same...or like someone else. 90% of the time there's no trademark sound which becomes instantly identifiable in a way that separates them from their stable mates. For example, you'd know straight away if it was Demented Are Go, The Quakes, Nekromantix, Torment etc you were listening to even if you didn't have access to the album sleeve. Enter Köln's Minestompers and their inaugural airing on Crazy Love Records. Psychobilly naysayers of the "no slap bass, no billy" variety are in for a reality check. This 100% psychobilly with *gasp* bass guitar! I love slap bass, but it's not the be-all and end-all if the band are fucking good. The Minestompers are fucking great! The trademark sound is coming in spades from vocalist Dave. The guy sounds like a demented Charlie Feathers hiccuping all over the place. There's a great strep throat tone to it too. Those two elements in the vocals are my favourite elements and are all too rare. There are only a handful of vocalists who can pull it off and Dave is right up there at the top. I've had this album for a while now and it gets blasted out regularly. Sometimes you make a mental note of standout albums. You know the way they just get ingrained in your psyche? This is one of those gems. An excellent début release which is all anti-wholesome psychobilly of the towering over their opposition variety.

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The Goddamn Gallows "7 Devils"

(Crazy Love Records 2015)

Ragz And Bones

7 Devils

47 Crosses

The End Of The World

Rotting Away

Stew Hogg

Sidewalk Slammer

Y'All Motherfuckers Need Jesus

Instant Major Felony

Malefactor March

Nature Of The Beast

Serafino

Waiting Around To Die

Nowhere Left To Roam

Broken Man

Raise The Moon

It All Goes Away

This a reissue of the US 2011 release on Farmageddon Records  now out in all its splendour on Germany's Crazy Love Records. There's a carnival feel running throughout the album; albeit an evil carnival. Think Ray Bradbury's novel Something Wicked This Way Comes and you'll get the idea. However, when they're not being the creepy gutterbilly bastards that we all know and love, this album features one of my favourite Gallows ditties "Nature Of The Beast". This is a straight-up folk ballad with some fine yodelling. For the most part though, this a big blend of hillbilly, cowpunk, bluegrass, folk, rockabilly, with that underworld vocal styling that makes for some very uncomfortable listening...but that's a good thing. This isn't your "nice" version of American roots music. The lads are the personification of every reason you wouldn't want to go in to the swamps alone in Louisiana. But fuck me, can they play their respective instruments or what? All the ingredients for a pissed-up stomp are adroitly executed. The boys are the real deal and no mistake.

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The Rocket Beats "Human Tornado"

(Crazy Love Records 2015)

Rocket Alert Theme

Mystery Man

Evil In My Veins

Human Tornado

Dinosaur Rock

Electrical

Brown Fury

Madhouse

Let's Shout Again

Be-Bop-A-Lula (Rocket Version)

Grave Party

My nipples were plain to be seen poking out through my shirt whilst listening to this album, the second outing from Russia's Rocket Beats. Russia has produced some top class bands over the years and The Rocket Beats maintain that high standard. Evil, sci-fi themed psychobilly sounds are order of the day here. But what sets them apart from the usual psychobilly brigade is the inclusion of quality female backing vocals (and lead vocals on one track). Speaking of which, she's an excellent slap bassist too! They're reminiscent of that wave of bands that came from Europe in the mid 1980s. Bands like Les Crabs, The Scallywags, The Scannerz...that kinda thing. The kinda thing I absolutely love. Fuck knows how such an underground scene can still produce bands like this, putting their own stamp on things with that classic, minimalist ensemble of guitar, drums and slap bass. It's testament to the talent that exists within the realms of psychobilly's self-contained world I suppose. It will never be for mass consumption. Within music's broad spectrum of genres and styles, psychobilly has to be thee most ignored one of all. Or the most misunderstood. Yet, it has survived on its own merits while being blacklisted by the "music press". But what appears to be the music industry's pet hate, is our subcultural secret which sticks two fingers up at them triumphantly. So yes, another quality release from Crazy Love Records (Guido really has an ear for quality) with this, the sophomore album from The Rocket Beats. Equal parts psycho and billy with a splash of the aforementioned sci-fi for good measure. Now to put a warm spoon on my nipples. It's getting embarrassing.  

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The Quaranteds "World Wide Quarantine"

(Crazy Love Records 2015)

Johnny's A Commie

Hate

Exotic Girls

Ride This Torpedo

King Of The Night

Wench

White Wedding

Holy Jaysus this 7 dittied silver platter gave me a right kick in the bollix and no mistake! Right from the get-go the clean guitar and machine gun slap bass grabbed me by the scrote and refused to let go. I had no pre-conceived notions before listening to this, the second outing from LA's The Quaranteds. They've been around a while and my ex-girlfriend was always singing their praises (she knows em personally....see? I have worldwide connections...what a cosmopolitan guy) but all she ever showed me was dodgy quality videos she recorded on her phone so I never really bothered me arse checking them out further. WHAT A GOBSHITE! The boys are brilliant! 5 originals and 2 covers (Ride This Torpedo features guest vocals from that dapper bastard Gator McMurder of Bea Pickles/Coffin Draggers fame) and it's all in-your-face psychobilly of the tough guy variety. In its essence, psychobilly is a more ballsy, aggressive, punch in the throat version of rockabilly and this is exactly what the lads have captured here. I fucking love it! It reminds me of when I was 15 and heard The Guana Batz for the first time (having grown tired of the sugar coated rockabilly dross that was doing the rounds at the time) and thinking to myself "fuck sake, THIS is what I've been looking for". It's psychobilly like it used to be in its heyday over this side of the pond. Now it appears that heyday has moved Stateside. The boys do it right. Straight-up psychobilly with no pretentiousness. 

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The Spastiks "Demo EP"

 (The Spastiks 2015)

Radiation Baby

Rubber Legs

Big Black Bug

Dynamite

My mate Tim (guitarist from New York's The Spastiks) sent me their demo CD (along with a pair of  XXXXL women's knickers) in the post. For a demo CD it actually sounds more like a finished product. (The knickers were soiled). The boys are obviously serious about their art. Lyrically though "serious" doesn't come in to the equation. Stylistically it's very old school psychobilly with plenty of rockabilly twang and comic book stories told through the medium of song. It's like a Guana Batz/Krewmen mash-up with maybe a hint of The Cramps. The whole thing is driven along with a solid slap bass and drums backbeat and features a vocalist that doesn't rely on growling bullshittery to transform his voice from rockabilly to psychobilly. It's a sexy little teaser of what the lads have in store for us. All we have to do now is wait for Tim to stop perusing the ladies undergarmentry section of his local charity shop and round up the rest of the lads (found modelling the aforementioned ladies undergarmentry...in the same charity shop) and record an album. Shower of sex-cases.
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Bombat Belus "if you Like us it's nice..."

(Self Released 2015)

The Whole World Will Be Dead! (Intro)

 Bad Moon Rising

 Bombat Belus Syndicate

 Wir Sind Die Roboter

 Kimuś

 I'm So Lonesome Baby

Może Kiedyś Innym Razem

 Małe Piwko Z Kolegami

 Bad Wild West

 So Tragic!

 Biedna Psina (Remix)

Merciful Jaysus, typing out those Polish song titles took a lot of concentration! Now to sit back and relax to the soothing jazz-funk sounds brought to us on this, the second album from Bombat Belus. Ah yes, it's the stuff that exudes gentle finger clicking whilst wearing your beret and sipping herbal tea on your veranda overlooking the tranquil meadow glistening in the sun; almost as if it's a green ocean as the cool breeze gives the magical illusion of waves shimmering to and fro...........no wait! Is it fuck. It's pounding in-your-face psychobilly is what it is. It's the stuff that exudes being pummelled in the wrecking pit whilst wearing your steel-toe boots as you spit neat whiskey out of your bloodied mouth by way of offering a medicinal pick-me-up to the mass of fallen bodies on the dance floor.  The boys sway slightly more towards the more punkier side of psychobilly as is evident by their inclusion of bass guitar as opposed to double bass. There are a couple of covers on here that I can't get enough of. I usually don't harp on about individual songs when doing these reviews but fuck me, their versions of Bad Moon Rising and I'm So Lonesome Baby have been on repeat for days. So there are some obvious rockabilly influences floating around in the loins of the band too. There's certainly an undeniable Meantraitors influence going on which I can hear in the guitar sound. This is quality stuff from the Polish purveyors of the peculiar. Next time though guys, release an all-English language album so as I don't have to spend 4 hours typing the song titles!! 

(The lads released this album themselves and in very limited quantities so, get in touch with them directly from the links at the end of this if it's not too late.)

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